Living without thinking, and a conjecture

I saw this video the other day, wherein Gary Weber described his experience of having his thoughts slow down and stop. At the time he was a high-powered executive and when he went to work in the morning, he expected that the absence of thoughts would be a problem for conducting business. But he found that he was still entirely functional. The absence of thoughts brought him peace and joy, without any apparent downside.

I've once or twice had a similar experience but for me it's not lasted more than five or ten minutes. The onset when it has happened has been astonishing. Thoughts just come to a stop, and whatever I was about to think about, it seems like it can wait until later.

When I look at what prevents this happening more often, it's a couple of things. One is that I suffer from a belief that if I'm thinking about something, it must be important and I'd better be careful not to forget it, so I need to continue thinking about it. Another is a belief that thinking will protect me from harm, because thinking is (allegedly) a good way to anticipate and avoid potential problems. But that's not really borne out by experience: thinking, at least of the gadfly variety, is far more likely to distract me from things of real importance.

I was thinking about Scott Kiloby's exercise of resting in awareness, and thinking that it's a nice way to have this thought-free experience for a few seconds. In those seconds, there is an absence of the usual sorts of suffering that one experiences on a daily basis. One is not concerned about the future of one's career or relationship or health. One does not suffer self-esteem issues or painful memories of childhood or family interactions. One simply experiences what is present in the moment in a peaceful way. And thoughts are conspicuous by their absence.

Having had the experience of thoughtlessness and found it quite pleasant. I'm interested in recapturing it, and I wonder if it might be possible to remain in the resting-in-awareness exercise for a minute, and later an hour, and later an entire day, and eventually all the time. When I try to do this, what comes up to hinder my attempt?

I usually start with my eyes closed, and it's simply not practical to go through my day with my eyes closed. But I can continue with the eyes open, focusing on body sensations like breathing or warmth to avoid getting too engaged in thoughts. Next comes the fear that without thoughts, I will lack ambition, and without ambition, I won't accomplish anything. Rationally I know that my thoughts often get in the way of ambitions more than helping with them. And I know I'll run into the belief that thinking is necessary for safety, and again rationally I know that's not the case. I think this is something to continue tinkering with, and see if I can get anywhere with it.

Greg Goode's book "Standing as Awareness"

I've been reading Standing as Awareness the past few days. Greg Goode addresses questions that might come up for a reader or listener, where other non-duality teachers might just say "Don't over-analyze it" or "You're in your head". A person might indeed be in their head, over-analyzing things, but perhaps they're simply stuck at that place until their questions have been satisfactorily addressed.

On pages 13 through 15, there is a delightfully lucid exploration of how external physical objects can be regarded as awareness. He begins with an examination of vision, and points out that the raw data of vision is nothing more than colors and shapes and the boundaries between shapes. Any sense of distance, size, location, or material properties does not inhere in the visual experience, it is something that you've inferred. Outside of thought, there is no evidence for these additional properties, so if one is to be rigorous, they can be considered inessential to the present-moment experience of the object.

In terms of your experience in the moment, a coffee cup is indistinguishable from the shapes and colors you see. There is no vantage point from which you can see the cup as one thing, and the shapes and colors as another. They are identical in your experience. Likewise, these colors and shapes are indistinguishable from the act of seeing: there is no seeing apart from the shapes and colors seen. Finally, there is no awareness distinguishable from the objects of awareness. There's no vantage point from which you can see awareness over here, and colors and shapes over there. So all these things are identical, and so the coffee cup is a "piece" of awareness.

Within a couple of pages, Goode tackles the objection that will arise in the minds of many people looking at this chain of identity. How can the world's objects not exist physically, outside one's awareness? Is one to believe that objects cease to exist when one stops looking in their direction? Wouldn't we reasonably expect anybody making such a claim to get a clinical diagnosis and a prescription for psych meds? Goode grants that external existence of objects is a possibility but not one that can be irrefutably confirmed in your own direct experience. The apparent persistence of objects is a conclusion drawn from memory, and memory is notoriously fallible.

I once saw a discussion along similar lines between Rupert Spira and Chris Hebard. When I heard these ideas presented, they were so new and so at odds with my notion of an objective reality outside myself that I could barely follow along. I find that when my notion of reality is confronted at such a basic level, I may become sleepy or distracted. Goode's book gave me another angle of attack, with great lucidity and intelligence, and has made this stuff more accessible.

Goode goes on to talk about the recognition of a witnessing awareness once the identity of all things is seen as awareness. The witness arises, then just as suddenly evaporates into pure consciousness. That's what he says, anyway, but I have to admit that at this point I'm well out of my depth. Nevertheless, it's written with clarity and intelligence and accessible discussion of otherwise esoteric topics, and I recommend it. He has another book out, The Direct Path, and I look forward to reading that soon.